Decades ago when the realization that I was Gay became an unavoidable truth. Certain social norms bred into my psyche seemed at the time to be just as unattainable. The first and most profound is the unlikelihood of having children. Although being Gay doesn't preclude ones ability to have children, it does add a certain challenge to the whole process. Plus my HIV status does seem to have put a nail in that coffin. The second and possibly just as profound would be the fact that I would never be able to marry the one I love. Unlike child bearing being Gay did Preclude me from marrying the one I love. Many would say that a marriage is just a piece of paper, some hetero-centric, establishment institution that we should reject. In some ways I agree. But on an individual level. I come from a family where my examples of marriage were of Life Long Commitment. Where you found the love of your life and you married for life. Marriage as the ultimate symbol of lifelong commitment was my norm. Also Marriage was a way to symbolically join your partner to your family and you to theirs. It was willingly turning two into one. BUT, all this is about to change. I an my Partner Joe will be going to Toronto, Canada to be wed at the end of October. Joe is the Love of my life and he brings me Joy I never thought I would have.. I will be by his in this life and forever. I take the decision to Marry as the Most Important in my Life. I Take the decision to ask Joe to Marry Me as my Easiest and His acceptance as the Happiest Moment of my Life.

Down Bound Train

In the beginning I was in favor of the War In Iraq. Not for the reasons the the Bush Administration was peddling. But because I thought after the first Gulf War when George Bush I called for the people of Iraq to rise up against Saddam and then we turned our back on them. Leaving them to suffer the wrath of a vengeful tyrant was not only despicable but planted the seeds of distrust among Shiites for the United States.Before the War started I argued for a vastly different approach in waging the war. Taking lessons from central Europe and the Soviet Union. I felt for the birth of a democracy to be successful the people had to have a vested interest and play an active role in the over throw of a dictatorship. A Democracy comes from a civil uprising not from imposition or interference from an outside force. http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l11/beyondhiv/crowd.jpg With this in mind. I argued at the time that the approach with the best chance of success was given the fact that at the time we had total supremacy of the skies. The Military should slowly and methodically take over larger and larger chunks of Iraq. Establishing relationships and networks with local civic and religious leaders. In effect surrounding and maintaining positions outside the major metropolitan areas. With these relationships and networks of trust set up communicate to the cities that The United States was coming and was willing to offer assistance to the democratic overthrow of Saddam Hussain. By letting the people of Iraq know that the military might of the US had their backs would have empowered the people to go to the streets and take back their country from tyranny, With hundreds of thousands of people in the streets of Baghdad it is more likely that the Iraqi military will join in the overthrow rather then fire on a revolution of the people, buy the people and for the people.We might have freed the people of Iraq without even stepping foot in Baghdad. This approach would have done so much more for an Iraqi sense of Pride, unity and investment in the future. A feeling that all Iraqi took part in the fight for freedom.In any invasion, no matter how altruistic the motive, there will be those who see it as affront to the nations dignity and will resist the occupation. This is where the slower approach of establishing relationships and networks become so vital. It's hardly a useful tactic to fight armed resistance by blowing up a city block or creating a mass refugee situation. When the people in the networks you created to pass information of good will, also had an uncle living on that block. The good works of the Military in the less densely populated area will filter through the network and civil and social pressures will dampen the feelings of antagonism toward the American Presence. That with a promise to leave completely the day you ask us to go.I guess everything I've said is kind of useless at this point. But I think it important to concider that there were ways that we possibly could have helped the people of Iraq liberate themselves. As opposed to what we have now. which by any measure is a down bound train to disaster